I'm liable to start a violent spark with a silent thought
I disgust you, like dialogue from the
Shop to the wired frog night club
Shit, I was taught if your CD's on fire, you
Had to put it out yourself like Highland Park
No fire department, so you might not hear sirens at all
But don't be alarmed if I sound off
Something just ain't right with me, dawg
A martyr on a private charter, whose life could be harder?
Widely regarded, highly
Bite me, sweetheart, I'm slightly retarded
But tonight I'm starting shit
I'm feeling self-righteous and might just hop
In a mosh pit on some Mike Tyson and Pac shit
Looking to box with anybody, disorderly conduct
I'll fuck around and snort a key and pick a fight with a locksmith
Fan of The Lox, bananas, manic, I'm going in shock
Frantic, I'm trapped in a closet
Panic attack 'cause I'm claustrophobic
No, faggot, I mean I can't maneuver for
Movement 'Cause I have no room for improvement
I'm practically squashed, compacted, and boxed in
Toxic, cans of arsenic, flammable bars, examine the content
Bar exam, start of insanity
Charles Hamilton slashed Manson and Bronson
Arr, animal snarls, cannibal jaws, shark mandibles
Lambs to the slaughter, looking scantless as Hannibal's
Stalking Anthony Hopkins with his hands in his pockets
Black out, Zach Galifianakis
Gallons of vodka, black out with some knockers
I bet you they ring a bell when I come back and I'm conscious
Uh, what happened, Doc?
I passed out again
Alcohol's making me break into vacants
Naked, stolen Magnavox and bags of rocks in back of a Datsun
Fell asleep watching Fear Factor and Scare Tactics
Too close to the StairMaster
Poked a hole in an air mattress and popped it
Woke up shortly thereafter, hungover, no underwear
Grasping at bare ass but then dropped it
The Air Maxes in my closet are preposterous
Nikes made out of ostrich and the cross-stitching is a cross-
Mixing of rhinoceros, possum skin, giraffe, and a dolphin fin
Cotton Dockers, Oshkoshes
Drop crotches, Swatch watches and sneakers match with the Parkas
But it's like being overstaffed at a boxing gym
With all these trainers but I don't have any boxers
And I'm standing here naked, hangover still wasted
Like paper you write raps on, obnoxious
Yo, why does it always sound like I'm grabbing my nostrils?
Fuck that, I'll battle 'em all
I'll battle 'em all
I'll stand here and yell that at a
Wall 'til the mannequin dolls scatter
And the inanimate objects that I'm battering all shatter and fall
'Cause I hear the track and I'm starting to get fucking amped
I'm a spark plug
I'm like the car with the cables hooked up to my fucking back
I'm a Duracell but I sure as hell got it backwards 'cause
Y'all will get jumped and I'll catch the battery charge but...
I got a hunch like your back when it's arching
When I start attacking your squadron you'll
Feel like MasterCard when I'm charging
So take a swipe at me, I'm coming straight at you
Like Clay Matthews from the Green Bay Packers
So get the sack like Wisconsin
That's nutbag that I'm talking
Who am I kidding?
You faggots are all gonna do my bidding
Don't get dragged to the auction
Neiman Marcus, bags of Vuitton and all
I'll push a bitch into oncoming traffic, just watch this
Stretch-tinted black sedan my ass
See how mad you act when I drop you off at
Saxton Ave in a fucking taxicab to go shopping
Affable guy next door is laughable
My next whore is gonna have mechanical arms that'll jack
Me off with a lotion dispenser with a motion sensor
No emotion, hence I guess a sick prick dies hard
I got a magic Johnson
It's like a magic wand allows me to not let a blonde arouse me
If Ronda Rousey was on the couch with the condoms out
Holding a thousand Magnums and wants to pound me?
I'll laugh in response to how she dances and flaunts it around me
Her flat little badonkadonk is bouncing
Around and all I see is poly molly now
She's Slaughterhouse in a blouse and Madonna with mud on her
Goddamn it, I am a misogynist
I'll slap Linda Ronstadt with a lobster
Throw her off a balcony, just so happened she's fond
Of algae 'cause now she faceplants on the concrete
Complete lack of responsibility
Half of you assholes ain't strong enough to pick up a spirit
Shit, you fags couldn't shoplift at a thrift shop
But I let the track lift 'em up, boost their energy
Klepto, I'm back to rip shop up
But my thing is this now, five-finger discount
Been rapping so long I've been killing this shit
It's easy, kidnapping your mom 'cause I'm still in this bitch
Thievery, ransom for JonBenét Ramsey and Chandra Levy and Gary Condon
Paul was scared if I went back to the blonde
I might relapse, get on some bullshit
Perhaps I'll launch some crack or taunt at Action Bronson
Macklemore, Mac Miller and Asher Roth and have some back and forths
And record a wack response to Kendrick Lamar's Control verse
And perform Back in Concert
Yo, I'll put that shit on the greatest hits album
Now that was awesome, it takes a
Massive balls to do some shit like that
Sometimes I have to ponder why people are like, "I'll stick around
" And put up with my crap so long, for what's the attraction, mama?
Is it the fact that I'm a walking, talking actual quadruple entendre?
Or the pointy nose that's pointing at your mama?
Who knows at this point?
It's always poking, so meh
Still get along with this voice 'cause that's the monster
So do-si-do with the meh sociopath
Everyone who knows me knows that
What they don't know is the fact Rihanna calls me Pinocchio, meh
She loves the way I lie, sits on my
Face and waits for my nose to grow
Pathological liar, barb wire
Am I a, such an asshole that my disguise as pants but they're on fire?
So am I a, whoo
Cappadonna, cut the track off
Sabotage Christmas, crap in your stocking
I'm wrapping up all the presents in fucking
Camouflage so you can't even find 'em
Jack Santa Claus, snap Rudolph's antlers off
Wrap his schnoz in gauze bandage and blind him
Blowing a head gasket at Bed Bath & Beyond
Put the basket back, all the bath salt packets are gone
I know you're really tired of me sampling Billy Squier
But classic rock acid rap is the genre
Got Slash on guitar, splash of Bizarre, Thrasher and Aerosmith
Now I'm a spectacular archer, feed Count Dracula Chocula
Godzilla, half dragon and Bob Dylan
Bandwagoners, I'm kicking the damn
Stragglers off and I'm strangling 'em
Smack Kim Basinger on her ass for fucking with me
